The Mountains We Moved
by ThisNightisFlawless
Summary: Sequel to The Walls We Crashed Through. A world where Selena lives, and her and Demi move forward. CHANGED LAST NAMES, IT'S LEGAL.
1. Oh! Darling

After everything Selena and I went through, we were lucky to stay so close. The death of one of our best friends, broken hearts, suicide attempts, fights, crazy parents. But we went through it together, and we came out alive.

"Demi, stop playing the piano and get your ass over here. I need help picking out an outfit." Selena playfully yelled at me. We were in her room, lounging around.

"I don't know why you need my help. It's not a special occasion." I said through a mouthful of cereal.

"It's the first day of school Monday! I need to look good! She smacked me lightly on the head.

"I'm the only person you should be impressing, and I think you should just go naked." I laughed.

"Yeah, you'd like that, perv."

I chuckled and headed downstairs to get my phone. I needed to check in with Mom anyway. I had a couple of texts of a forward. "Selena! Come down!" I yelled, excitedly.

She comes down the stairs wearing just her bra and some shorts, holding a shirt in her hand. "What is it, babe?"

I look up at her after blatantly staring at her body, then wave my phone in her face. "Paaaarrrrty!" I say excitedly. Her face falls and she raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? Parties are not exactly our best choices. Considering they usually end in fights and other bullshit."

I poke my lip out. "But Selllll, it's a back to school party! Come on, it'll be fun. We don't have to drink. I just wanna see everyone and hang out. Pleeeease." I give her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. But no drinking. And I don't wanna stay late. You're only winning because you're so damn cute." She says, poking in my lip with her finger, then kissing me on the cheek.

"I win!" I yell and tackle her onto the couch, kissing all over her cheeks and forehead. "Just because you're cute and I kinda like ya Dem," she says before kissing me on the lips.


	2. Call It What You Want

If we thought that the last party we went to was big, we were crazy. I had never seen so many people in my life, or so much alcohol. Half of the kids here weren't even in high school anymore. What the hell were we getting ourselves into?

"You look really good tonight, Dem." I hear Selena say from behind me, her hand in mine as we walk through the already trashed front yard.

"Thanks. You too, babe."

"DEMI! SELENA! YOU GUYS ARE HEREEEEE!" Ashley is wearing only her bra, screaming over the loud music at us. Selena laughs loudly and brings her in for a hug. "How drunk are you, Ash?" She laughs out.

"I do not know what you're talking about. Anywaysssss, have a drink, have a drink! Everyone is having drinks! Drinks for everyone!" She yells out, laughing loudly at herself. Ashley was gorgeous. Head cheerleader, one of our best friends. She was super outgoing and a little on the wild side. Her dirty blonde hair fell down her shoulders, all the way passed her bright purple bra she was wearing for some reason.

I laughed and caught her by the arm as she stumbled into us. "Okay! We'll have a drink! Be careful, you little tramp!" I say as Selena and I both give her a kiss on the cheek and walk into the kitchen to get drinks.

Selena is smiling at me, glowing when she asks, "Do you want to drink? I can drive home if you want."

"I think I will a little, but you can drink. I'll just have like a beer or two. You have fun, babe." I say as I grab a beer for myself and pour her a shot of tequila.

"You're the best." She says and kisses my temple before throwing the shot back and grabbing herself a beer. It's going to be an interesting night to say the least.

We socialize most of the time. Selena gets drunker and drunker as the night goes on. It's hilarious to watch, to be honest. When Selena drinks, she rambles in her cute little voice, and no one can really understand her.

It's fun catching up with all of our friends we haven't seen since school. It's the last party of summer and literally almost everyone in our class is there. Michael comes up to us as we're talking to a big group of people from our class about nothing in particular, "You guys up for a little classic game of spin the bottle?"

A lot of the girls giggle, "What is this, sixth grade?" Ashley laughs. He chuckles and responds, "Shut up Ashley, you know it'll be fun."

"I totally wanna play! Come on Dem!" Selena grabs my arm and sits down in the floor where a circle is already forming.

"You cool with this?" She whispers in my ear, nibbling on it lightly. I shiver and turn to her, "All fun and games, Sel." I smile.

Ashley spins first and lands on this guy named Marcus. They sloppily and drunkenly kiss for about 20 uncomfortable seconds before Michael interrupts them. "Hey, hey, hey. My turn." He spins and lands on some other girl I didn't recognize.

When Selena spins and it lands on Ashley, she doesn't even hesitate before leaning across to her and latching her lips to hers. The guys all cheer and the girls laugh when they pull apart. I spin right after and it lands right back on Selena. I smile broadly and lean into her, my hand lightly landing on her cheek, holding her face. I can feel her smile into the kiss and it probably lasts a lot longer than the rest of our friends'.

When we pull apart, it's silent. Everyone is staring at us like we have three heads. I start to open my mouth when someone who's voice I didn't recognize breaks through the silence. "Damn, I didn't know it was dyke hour."

A few of the groups standing around chuckle at it, looking at Selena and I like we were from another planet. "Shut the fuck up, you fucking tool." Ashley stands up and screams at the monster. He just continues to smirk and look down at us. I had forgotten. I forgot where we were. I guess the alcohol had gotten to me, even though I only had a little.

Selena just looked a little lost and confused. We had never talked about telling our friends about us or being openly touchy. We were already sort of touchy anyway before we got together. Ashley only knew because she was Ashley and blurted it out one day when we were shopping.

I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for these judging eyes and disgusted glances. I wasn't ready for Ashley to defend us, like we were helpless and needed defending at all. I wasn't ready for Selena to basically confirm the speculation by grabbing my hand, and I definitely wasn't ready for the broken look in her eyes when I pulled away from her quickly and stood up, rushing outside.

I wasn't ready at all.


	3. Closing Time

"I've been looking everywhere for you," Selena said when she found me in my car. I didn't respond, or look at her.

"Hey.." she touched my hand and I flinched, jerking my hand back. She looked like I had just slapped her in the face. "Demi. Demi look at me." I turned my head to look her in the eye.

"What happened back there? Why'd you run out on me?" She asked quietly.

"Did you see the way they were looking at us?" I replied, looking at Selena incredulously.

"Who gives a fuck about what they think? Or how they look it us? Why does it even matter?" She raises her voice.

"It matters Selena!" I yell back at her. Her dark brown eyes look hurt and exhausted, and I forgot that we'd both been drinking, her more than me. I sigh and run my hands through my wavy hair, shaking my head. "I don't want to be that kid that everyone talks about and makes fun of. I can't. Don't you get that? I can't handle being a spectacle. Not after everything I've been through. I just can't."

"I've been through things too, Demi. And I didn't walk out." She says as she opens my car door. "Sel-" I start before she looks back at me. "No. You figure out what you want. I know what I want, and I'll pay the price of being looked at differently because I care that much about you. You need to figure out if you feel the same way. I'm getting Ben to take me home," and then she's gone.

Then I cry. What the hell just happened? I was so happy, I didn't even think about the fact that when school started people would ask questions. I loved Selena. I knew that. But I don't think I can handle people looking at and talking about us like they just did. After everything that happened, I didn't think Selena could handle it either. Maybe it was just another obstacle, but it felt like more. It felt like it could end up tearing us apart. Hell, it already had.

I spent the next two days without talking to her. I think we both needed space and time to figure out what we needed and what would be best for us. I called her around 6 on Sunday.

"Hello?" Her smooth voice came through my phone. "Hey, I think we need to talk," I reply as calmly as possible. "Can you come over? Or I can come to you. It doesn't matter."

"I'll come over in about ten," she says just as calmly as me. "Bye Dem."

"Bye."

When she comes over she knocks on my door for the first time since we were twelve. I open it and she's never looked smaller. She's scared, I can see it in her eyes. She looks like she's slept about as much as I have, not much. And her hair is pulled into a messy bun.

"Hey," I say quietly with a little relief in my voice when I look into her eyes.

She looks up at me and pulls me into a hug. "Hey," is whispered sadly into my ear before she pulls back and goes to sit on my couch. I close the door and follow her into my living room, sitting a comfortable distance from her.

"Can we just cut to the chase?" She's still looking down, suddenly really interested in her nails.

"I want to talk about this Selena," I say, scooting towards her and grabbing her hands, forcing her to look at me. "I love you. You know I love you, right?" She nods slowly, "Yeah."

"You're my best friend above everything else. Above the other relationship we have, you're my best friend. You have been for a long, long time and I would never want anything to jeopardize that, okay?"

"Say it." She says as she pulls her hands away from mine slowly. I look at her with confusion, "What?"

"Tell me how much our friendship means Demi. Tell me how important it is. Tell me that you can't ruin it with this relationship we have. That's where you're going with this right? You're going to say that you don't want us to end badly and lose me altogether, right?" She leans in closer to me, inches from my face. "I knew you didn't really want this. I told you, and you lied to me. You said you needed me, and that you wanted to be with me. And you fucking lied, Demi." She wipes away a stray tear. "You know what sucks the most? Knowing that I'm not important enough to you."

"You know you're the most important person in my life, Sel. I care about you so much."I speak for the first time.

"Not enough to be brave for me though, right? Let those stupid kids in our school control you, Demi. Go ahead. But I can't wait for you to realize that they're not important. I won't wait. I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone, but I won't wait."

"Please don't do this." I beg her, for a reason I don't know.

"I'm not doing anything, Demi. I told you I want to be with you. I don't care what anyone says about it. Just because kids suck and have all this hate in their hearts, isn't going to stop me from loving you. Don't you get that? I don't need anyone's approval except for yours. And when I can't that, there's only so much I can do." She's crying now, but so strong and fierce in her words. I look at her, wiping away one of her tears.

"Can't you see that they're already tearing us apart? Look at us. School hasn't even started yet. I can't handle it, Sel. I'm scared. I'm not strong enough." I say as tears start forming in my eyes. "It doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do. It's just not enough."

"Then I don't really know where this leaves us," she says slowly and sadly. And as we sit there, both crying and silent on my living room couch, I don't know where we go from here either.


	4. Get Up, Get Up, Get Up

"Then I don't really know where this leaves us," Selena's voice echoes throughout my empty house. Empty, but so crowded. As we sit there, staring anywhere but each other, our entire lives together flashes before me. From the moment we met, there had always been this force that inevitably drew us back together no matter where or how far we strayed. And never, in all of these heavy years, did I think that it wouldn't be enough until now.

_"What's your name? I'm Selena!" A brunette smiled and stuck her hand out excitedly at me. It was our first day, and she was sitting next to me in class. _

_"Demi," I reply shyly, pulling my glasses up. She giggles, trying to find my eyes as she nods surely and says, "I think we're gonna be great friends." _

From that point on, she was everything. My best friend, my rock, the girl who could make me laugh no matter how upset I was, the girl who turned me into an open book, and the one that I had always loved in ways that I never fully understood until she opened my eyes. There was a part of me that knew that no matter what we decided when she left this house, we would never be the same. And an even bigger part of me knew that I was never going to be able to accept that.

"I can't lose you, Selena," I whisper, not dare looking into her eyes. She was crying, I knew that without looking at her. And if I looked into her eyes, the instinctive need to comfort her would take over me, and if I held her, we would get nowhere.

"You won't. Ever. You know that, Dem," she starts softly, "But you also know that this changes things. I can deal with just being friends like before, I think, but we both know that even then, we were never just friends. And that isn't going to be easy, for either of us. I love you, Demi. I love you in so many ways, but I won't sit around and hurt myself over and over. And I sure as hell won't hurt you." She takes in a deep breath and wipes at her eyes hard, "I think it's best for us to just forget these past months, and try to retain whatever normalcy we can."

She's being technical, the way she's speaking. She does that when she doesn't want to cry or when she's trying not to get too involved emotionally with what she's saying. And that scares the hell out of me. But I nod, desperate to end this horrific conversation.

"Okay, okay. I can do that. No hard feelings?" I reach my hand out to shake hers.

She smiles sadly, but takes my hand, "Never any hard feelings."

* * *

We didn't speak for four days after our conversation. I was completely heartbroken. It was getting increasingly difficult to convince myself that I'd be okay, after knowing how amazing it was to have Selena in that way, then going back to what we were. What we were before was amazing in itself. We had an extraordinary friendship, but I knew that one of us was always going to want more now that we know what's possible.

She calls me on Thursday afternoon, her voice surprisingly perky for someone who just broke up/got broken up with (I still haven't really figured out what exactly happened in those terms).

"Hey Dem! Can I come over? I have something important to show you."

I nod, even if she can't see me and tell her it's fine to come over, wondering what in the hell is happening now. I still don't think I'm ready to see her. She knocks on my bedroom door ten minutes later, and I when she comes in, her dark hair freshly cut about 4 inches shorter, smiling at me, and holding up a piece of paper, I lose my breath and realize that I _definitely_ wasn't ready to see her.

"Hey. What's that?" I ask as she plops down on my bed and looks up at me to where I'm nervously swiveling back and forth in my desk chair.

"Read it," she hands me the paper and I immediately make out her handwriting.

"Demi and Selena's Guide to Maintaining Normalcy?" She smiles at me triumphantly when I turn immediately to her after reading the title.

"What is this?" I ask. She sits up and runs a hand through her hair. She looks good, healthy even.

"I've come up with some rules, sort of, with the help of Ashley. We need to abide by them to avoid any awkward moments or sadness or whatever. It's so we can go back to being who we were and how close we were," she looks at me kind of sadly, "I really do miss you Dem. And it's only been four days. I don't want to lose you either. So this is like a guide so that we can be normal, okay? Just go with it." I look down at the list and start to scan over the 'rules' she's written out.

"Okay, okay. Cool. I'm on board. Just explain them to me as I go, alright?" She nods happily and I begin.

"Rule number one, no referencing to the existence of the relationship." She goes into her technical mode again as she explains. "Okay, yeah. We just don't talk about it, pretty much. Because if we do, we get sad and all that, and it's just better to leave it in the past if that's where it's going to stay, okay?" I nod at her, and continue.

"Number two, no saying out of line things that would be considered un-platonic or get the other person hot and bothered. Okay, I don't think unplatonic a word, but go ahead." She giggles at that, "We can't say things like, you're so hot I want to jump your bones or I'm gonna pin you to that wall and have my way with you," she rushes out. And I'm pretty sure she just broke a rule, because she blushes, and I definitely erm- _feel_ those words.

"Just because it might make us- act on those things and cause problems, so yeah."

"Number three, no showing excessive cleavage, stomach or leg. What?" She rolls her eyes, "Ashley's idea. I think she's under the impression that all we did was have sex."

"Four, no confessions regarding each other." Her eyes stray to my bulletin board where dozens of pictures of us are scattered, "If we want to move on, we can't break down and admit to how much we want this or how much this isn't fair or how much we lo-," she shakes her head and smiles, "just, no confessions about any of it, okay?" I slowly nod, suddenly not too fond of how this is going.

"Number five, no excessive touching and hugs can only be very brief." I didn't really need that one explained.

"Six, no saying I love you." I look to her expectantly, our eyes not leaving each others. She breaks the contact, looking down at my bed before the stutters out, "Just- I'm not ready," she shrugs.

"I know this kinda sucks, and it's gonna be weird for a while and not be fun, but it's for the best. I want us to be okay. You're all I have, okay? I love you and I need you in my life, no matter what the cost. I hope you understand that. I'm about to break rule number five," she says as she envelops me in the tightest hug. A hug that says I'm sorry and I love you and This sucks and We really won't be the same again but we can at least try, can't we?

I let go and wipe the stray tears off her tired face. "You already broke one, four and six!" I smile at her so she knows I'm joking, but she already knew, as always.

"Shut up dork. Starting now, the Demi and Selena Guide to Maintaining Normalcy goes into full effect. Do we have a deal?" She sticks her hand out towards mine.

I search her eyes for any type of reluctance, and when all I find is a hint of sadness nearly covered by determination and focus, I shake her hand. "Deal."

And by deal, I really mean: fuck this.


	5. You Call it Madness But I Call it Love

I apologize for the baby hiatus the story has been on little children! I haven't gotten much feedback for this story (not nearly as much as the prequel) and I'm considering discontinuing it if there isn't much interest :(

Enjoy this little chapter!

* * *

School started that Monday and I was supposed to meet Selena for breakfast before class. We've been trying this whole rules thing out, and so far it's been a big mixture of awkward and bullshit. But we're trying. She's been my best friend for forever, and it's worth the effort.

When I see her at the coffee shop, I hug her very briefly. (**Rule #5: No excessive touching and hugs can only be very brief**.) "Hi!" She exclaims with that annoying first day excitement. She's always been that girl excited about a new year and blah blah blah. School is school. "You look good," she looks me up and down before smiling at me. That perfect smile.

"Thanks," I say, returning the smile and compliment, "You don't look horrible either." Breakfast goes over without any rule breaking or awkwardness, so it was considered successful.

We get to school ten minutes early to grab our schedules. Selena and I have three of eight classes together, which would normally bum us out, but I honestly think we were a little relieved. Not because we don't want to spend time together or see each other, but because with this backpedaling we've done recently with our relationship isn't going to be any easier if we have to spend every moment together. We need our space, as sad as it seems.

"I've gotta go get a locker," she says. "I'll see you in-" she looks down at her schedule to check, "third period?"

"Yeah," I smile. "See you then." And then she's gone in the sea of people flooding the halls of our high school.

I have first block with Ashley and a couple of other people I'm good friends with. The only sucky part was that it was math, my least favorite damn subject. I think Selena was in history. Much to my surprise, no one mentioned what happened at the party, and I was so relieved. Ashley knew most of the story, but she knew better than to talk about it in front of other people.

After the bell rang, I had to stop by my locker to change books. Selena's was across the hall and a few down from mine, and she was stopped too. When she turned around, we made eye contact and I felt like everything stopped. Her big, brown eyes bore into mine and I found myself wanting to know every detail of the time we spent apart, of what she was thinking, of what she felt. She looked down before turning to close her locker. Then she started walking towards me and before I know it, her breath is hot on my ear as she whispers, "New rule. No looking at me like that," and walks away. My knees feel weak as I slump back against my locker, mind and heart racing.

* * *

Third period came quicker than I wanted it to. I was afraid to face her after the hallway incident.

Ashley was also in our class, which was English, and sat in front of me. She turned to me and began talking animatedly about some bullshit I couldn't care less about.

Selena came in and sat beside her without looking at me. The class went by that way. She never once turned around, just spent the time doing her work or talking with Ashley. That's how the next two classes we had together went as well.

I couldn't have smiled harder when the final bell of the day rang.

School was school. It went by the same way as Monday did all week. Selena and I barely talked at all. It was starting to get to me, honestly. I know I pushed her away, and I know it was what I deserved. But that doesn't make anything hurt any less. Just because I didn't want to be _with_ her doesn't mean I don't love her with every part of me.

I was laying on my bed reading our first book assignment of the year when my phone buzzed. _Selenalenalena _appeared on the screen. I opened the text and grinned.

**Hey. Sorry about being weird this week. Want to spend the night Saturday? We can catch up and watch movies or whatever. xx**

****I immediately responded. **Of course, that sounds fantastic. See you tomorrow! **

She texted me Saturday morning to tell me to come over around eight. I was nervous for no reason in the world. I had spent more nights with Selena than I had alone the past however many years. Everything felt different now. Everything _was _different now. I just hadn't decided if it was in a better or worse way.

When I get to Selena's, I walk in to find her in the kitchen, hovered over the counter mixing something. I sneak up behind her and put my hands over her eyes, something we've done since we were kids.

"Guess who!" I say, withdrawing my hands. She turns around and smiles at me, "Hey dork."

"Whatcha makin'?" I ask, putting my bags down on the table.

"Some weird cookie things I found on the internet. They looked good, so I figured we'd try. Get your ass over here and help."

I chuckle, making my way over to the counter, "It looks complicated," I say, looking at the recipe.

"You have no idea," Selena says turning to me and I notice a huge spot of flour on her cheek. I start laughing. "What?" She says, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"You have flour on your face dork," I say reaching out to wipe it away. My hand lingers on her face, my eyes taking her in. It's suddenly very quiet.

"Hey," she breathes out. Her eyes don't leave mine.

"Hi," I reply dumbly, completely mesmerized by her natural beauty. Her dark hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and all makeup is gone from her smooth skin. Suddenly she turns away and grasps the counter a lot harder than a person should. She starts to shake her head.

"No looking at me like that, Dem, I told you." She says with a hint of anger in her voice, but mostly sadness.

I nod and take a step back from her, just to be safe. "I'm sorry, let's just bake these cookies and go watch a movie." She smiles at me and nods, "Deal."

We put in Mean Girls when we finish the cookies and sit down on her couch. Out of instinct we're drawn to each other, but split apart once we notice what we're doing. We laugh and repeat the movie like we've seen it a thousand times (because we probably have) and it comes with so much ease that I forget we're even having issues in the first place.

The movie is about halfway over when Selena cuddles into my side. Her arm slowly comes to rest over my stomach. Then, it's like she touched fire. She jerks her arm back and sits straight up on her side of the couch, mumbling a quiet sorry.

"Come back," I say quietly. She shakes her head, not daring to look over at me. "Come back," I say again with more force, louder.

"The rules," she starts, shaking her head again. She brings her hand to her face, covering her eyes.

"Fuck those stupid rules, Selena. I'm so sick of these stupid rules."

"It's your fault I had to come up with them in the first place!" She finally turns to me, anger flooding her eyes. "Jesus, why did you do this to me? Why are you such a fucking coward?" She says with anger and hurt and betrayal and everything she should never have to associate with me.

"I told you! I'm sorry, Sel. I don't want to hurt you. I just can't-"

"No! Don't give me that! Don't pretend like you care about me. All you care about is reputation and what everyone thinks. What about what I think? Huh?" She yells at me, tears in her eyes. "Did you ever think about me? About what I wanted? I loved you, Demi. I _love_ you. I would take kids teasing us and being horrible if it meant I had you, okay? But you ruined it. It's never going to be the same again with us, it's never going-"

I cut her off with a kiss. A hard kiss. A kiss that tried to say sorry, but it wasn't nearly enough. A kiss that knocked her backwards into the couch. I climbed onto her, my hands on her face and hers around my neck. My tongue easily found hers in the midst of her laying back, taking me down with her. It grew more heated by the moment. When a small moan escaped my lips she pushed me backwards like she'd been burnt, her eyes wide and afraid.

"Selena," I tried as I reached for her.

"No," she said with the quick shake of her head. "I can't."

"Why not?" I said, out of breath from kissing her. And with everything in me, I wished that she had said anything on earth than the next thing that comes out of her bruised lips.

"I went out with Ashley last night."


	6. In Fear and Faith

"You- you did what?" I asked, looking everywhere but her.

She shut her eyes painfully tight and shook her head, "I went out with her. She asked me out, and I said yes," she breathed out with a sigh.

"Do you like her?"

She looked at me with tears in her eyes, "I like the fact that she doesn't want to hide me away like I'm some filthy secret, Demi. I like that she held my hand in the park where anyone who cared could see. And I like that she kissed me without looking around to make sure no one could see," she said, tears spilling over her brown eyes. "But I don't like that she doesn't make me feel a fraction of the way you do."

I sat in silence, staring at her living room floor, wishing that I was fifteen again. When none of this was happening, when there wasn't this heavy burden on our friendship. When we could spend time together without one of us bursting into tears by the end of the night.

"Are you going to keep seeing her?" I ask, deathly afraid of the answer.

She shrugs with a light shake of her head, "I've tried to find a reason not to, and I can't."

"I wish I could give you one," I whisper and wipe the tears from my face.

"Then give me one," our eyes lock intently. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. Screaming out of anger and jealousy and confusion and hurt.

I break the eye contact. "I can't."

She rolls her eyes, "You can. You're just a fucking scared little girl," she scoffs at me.

"Why are you being so mean?"

"Because I _love_ you!" She screams, standing up and hovering over my seat on the couch,"I love you so much it kills me, Demi. And you broke my fucking heart. I took so many chances on you, and I _can't_, I can't keep doing this to myself. I want you to be in my life, Dem. I do. But it's always going to be like this now, don't you get that? There's not an in between. We crossed that line and we can't go back now."

She leans down over me, hands on either side of my head, face inches from mine. "Take a chance on me, Demi. _Please,"_ it comes out nearly a whisper and I can't breathe. I can't do anything but choke out a sob and pull her down into me. I hug her so close to me in attempt to keep her, and I know that I can't. That's when it occurs to me. I have to let her go.

"I love you," I cry out into her shoulder. She's straddling me, and breathing into my neck. It would probably turn me on if I didn't also hear her sobs mixing with mine and feel her tears falling onto my shoulder.

"I love you, Selena," I pull back and grab her face gently before kissing her on the forehead, "but I can't give you what you deserve." She shuts her eyes tightly and tears leak out onto her beautiful face.

"Is this it?" She whispers in the most broken tone I've ever heard from her.

I shake my head softly and wipe away her tears with my thumbs, "Not forever, just for now."

She nods sadly and rests her head on my shoulder again, her sobs slowly drowning out. "I'm never going to stop loving you," she whispers into my neck.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay? This doesn't mean I want to stop seeing you. Go date. Date whoever you want, I'm not going to fault you for it. Go be who you need to be and I'm always going to be right here, okay? Always." I kiss the side of her head and pull her closer to me.

I don't know what this is going to mean tomorrow, but there's no way in hell I could let my best friend, the girl I've loved since before I even knew what love was get away from me completely. I needed to sort out my bullshit. I knew that much. So in that moment, with her muffled sobs going into my neck, I decided to try my damn hardest to fix all of this. I had to let her go right now because it's not fair to keep her waiting around, but maybe someday, when I figured all of this out, a part of her would still be waiting.


	7. Sweet Disposition

I saw less and less of Selena as the weeks went by. We stopped hanging out outside of school almost altogether. Of course, we couldn't exactly avoid each other in school, thanks to the classes we shared. It was just too difficult, to be perfectly honest. Word got around about her and Ashley, and as expected, some people pestered me about it because they didn't know of our suddenly estranged friendship.

I pretended not to care. I acted as if I was happy for her. And I was. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, even if it didn't come from me. I smiled at them in the hallways, and when people asked me about them, I said I thought they were adorable. And then when I got home every day, I did my homework, showered, and cried myself to sleep.

I don't blame Selena. It was just a completely fucked up situation. I tried to gather the courage to just speak to her, to just speak to this girl I'd known and loved for half my life. And I couldn't.

Every time I started to say anything to her, I'd see her face and think about the fact that she's better off without me. She found someone who could love her without any hesitations or problems or excuses and Selena deserved that. I had this instinct in me that had been there since I'd known her, this instinct to protect her and I figured that I was doing that by letting her be happy with Ashley.

Then, just on fucking time, we were assigned partners for an English project and fate decided to fuck me pretty damn hard.

"Demi, you'll be with Selena," Mrs. Johnson read from her clipboard. I inwardly rolled my eyes and laughed. Not out loud, of course.

Selena turned and smiled at me hesitantly from her seat. I gave a half smile back and the bell rang. She stood up after Ashley gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and skipped out the door.

"Hey, stranger," Selena smiled at me while I gathered my books. "When do you wanna start? You can come over today if you want,"

I nodded and smiled a little. "Yeah, sure. After school?"

"Yeah. It'll be fun, I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages. See you then, Dem." Then she was gone.

Fuck English.

* * *

I went straight to her house after school like we planned. I was so nervous and not at all looking forward to it. I knocked on the door and her mom answered.

"Demi! It's good to see you. She's upstairs," Mandy smiled as she let me inside. Walking up to Selena's room felt foreign, which is completely ridiculous considering I've walked these stairs a million times in my life. She was on her laptop at her desk when I got to her room. I cleared my throat and she turned around, her face lighting up with a smile.

"Hey," she smiled again. I felt like throwing up.

"Hey, ready to start?"

"Yeah, not really." She stated comically before getting up to shut her door. "Why haven't you called?"

I am completely confused and my face probably mirrors that. "Uh.. what?"

Selena rolls her eyes, "Don't play dumb with me. You said we'd still be friends and you've completely shut me out for weeks. What's up with that?"

"Can we just do the project, Selena? I'm trying to move on as gracefully as possible and I'm sorry if you can't understand that acting like we're best friends again isn't what's going to help me do that. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I want to do the project, get this over with, and go back to moving on. Okay?" I rushed out without looking up at her.

She sighed loudly, running her hands through her dark hair. "Fair enough."

We didn't talk about anything but the project for the rest of the time I stayed. I worked quickly and tried desperately to pretend not to notice her staring at me with such confusion every five minutes. I wanted nothing more than to go home and cry.

"Same time tomorrow?" I asked, putting my books into my backpack.

She just stared at me like I was a stranger. Then nodded slowly, "Yeah, Dem. Same time tomorrow."

* * *

When I got home, my mom was sitting at the table eating a sandwich.

"Want me to make you one?" She asked sweetly, gesturing to her plate.

I shook my head, "No thanks, Mom," and sat down across from her. Her eyes scanned over me as I ran a hand through my hair with exhaust and sighed.

"You okay?"

I shook my head again. "Selena is my project partner."

"And that's a bad thing...?" she asked with obvious confusion. "Are you two okay?"

I sighed once more, before explaining the whole situation to my mom. It wasn't fair to leave her out, especially when she was so accepting of our relationship to begin with. By the end, I was in tears a bit, shaking my head at all that had gone wrong. I was tired. So sick and tired of feeling lost. I'd lost Mary Claire, nearly lost Selena once, broken my own heart a hundred different times, and I was still going in circles. My Mom looked like she was in so much pain for me, and it broke my heart too.

"Is she happy, with this Ashley girl?" she asked timidly, holding my hands.

"I think so, Mom. I think she really is." I cry out, tears spilling over onto our kitchen table. She sighs and rubs my hands gently.

"Then you can either let her go and try to be the best friend you've been to her in the past, or you can prove to her that you can make her happier. You've both been through more than you should have had to already, don't throw yourselves under a bus, honey. I know you love her, I know you do. But if you can't show the rest of the world that you do too, it's not really fair to her when she's ready to show whoever wants to see. You've got to be brave, sweetheart. And you are, or you wouldn't be here still after what the universe has put you through. You love that girl more than anything don't cheat yourself out of happiness."

I just cry in response. "I'm scared, Mom. I'm scared."

"I know, baby girl," she whispers as she comes around the table to hold me. "I know."

* * *

I went back to Selena's after school the next day without any clue as to what I would say or how to act. We worked silently until I decided to just come out with it, "Selena, I need to talk to you about something," I say timidly.

She perks up, "Okay, but let me go first. Ashley and I are going to see Coldplay Thursday night, and we got an extra ticket because her brother was gonna come but he can't get out of class so I was wondering if you wanted to come instead. I know you love them and I think it'll be a good chance for the three of us to hang out again, you know?" She finished with a huge grin on her face. I sighed, defeated.

"You really care about her, don't you?"

She smiles a little confusedly, the most adorable human being on the fucking planet. "Yeah, I do."

"We can be friends again, if you'll have me still." I murmer, shyly looking into her eyes.

She looks like someone just told her she'd won the lottery, and the part of me that still hasn't accepted that I'm not her girlfriend anymore wants to kiss her square on the mouth. She hugs me, and it feels for a second like it used to feel before hearts and hormones got in the way of our beautiful friendship.

"I am _so_ fucking glad to hear you say that, Demi."

Yep. Defeated.


	8. Hurts Like Heaven

I legitimately feel like throwing up. I have given my best effort to ignore the kissing and hand holding going on between these two, and it's getting old already. We aren't even halfway there yet and I already wish I would have stayed home. Selena said Coldplay concert, but what she really meant was third wheel fucking extravaganza.

Ashley is driving Selena's car to the show and I'm sitting in the back. I can not, for the life of me, figure out why the hell I ever agreed to come. When I think about it- since thinking is all I've really got to do right now because the love birds are animatedly talking to each other and leaving me completely out of the conversation- I suppose it's because Selena really is trying to make the effort, I couldn't bear to tell her no, and everyone knows Coldplay is fucking ridiculously awesome. If it was a Justin Bieber concert, I probably would have just told her to fuck off.

"Why so quiet Demetria?" Ashley breaks my train of thought, making eye contact through the mirror.

I fake a bright smile, "Sorry, just thinking about how excited I am to see Coldplay live,"

"Yaaaaay!" Selena jumps into the conversation, turning around in her seat to face me, " I'm so glad you decided to come, Dem. I couldn't see Coldplay without you!" She smiles her unfairly beautiful smile and turns back around. I smile to myself, and for a brief moment I almost decide that this really might not even be so bad. Right up until I see Selena reach across the car to grab hold of Ashley's right hand. Then I feel like throwing up again.

I put in my headphones and attempt to shut the rest of the bullshit out until we get to the show.

* * *

We get to the venue about five minutes late, and it sort of gives me a little justification to be pissed at Ashley for taking the wrong turn. Our seats aren't too bad, I guess. Selena sits in the middle of us and her excitement is a little bit contagious. She's bouncing up and down in her seat waiting for Coldplay to come on. She's wearing this flower-y headband with cutoff shorts and a Coldplay tank top. I smile at her childish antics and how utterly adorable she is. We've waited to see Coldplay since we were little. It's one of our dream concerts. I just can't help but feel at least a_ little _bit of anger at Ashley. For some reason I can't comprehend, I feel like she's not supposed to be here. Like this is mine and Selena's concert and she doesn't belong here. But then, once again Selena links their fingers together as we wait and I feel silly. Defeated, again.

Then, that classic piano riff starts and lights go crazy and everyone screams. _Clocks._

I stand up with everyone else and dance like nobody's business. Chris Martin's insanely beautiful voice echoes throughout the building.

_Cursed missed opportunities _  
_Am I a part of the cure, _  
_Or am I part of the disease?_

I get completely lost in the music. The words that have never been more relevant. The haunting instrumental. I look over to Selena and her eyes are closed, singing every line, she's swaying back and forth, her hands in the air. She's never been more beautiful and I've never hated myself more for letting her go.

The song ends and everyone goes crazy cheering, myself included. The lead singer stands up and waves to the crowd, "Hello everybody! We're Coldplay and this is Yellow." More screaming, followed by the intro to the mesmerizing song. Yellow was one of Selena's favorites. I never liked it that much, but I always listened to it without complaining.

I look to her once again and Ashley is behind her, her arms around her waist and swaying along to the music. Selena's hands are on top of Ashley's and she's singing the song with that smile on her face. That should be fucking me. _I_ should be bringing her to see her favorite band and singing the songs in her ear with _my _arms around her.

I try to calm down and just enjoy the show. They play some of their recent songs, including Paradise, one that I love. Then the intro to another one of my favorites starts. _In My Place_.

_I was lost, I was lost_  
_Crossed lines that I shouldn't have crossed_

By this point Selena and Ashley are giving each other some breathing room, about fucking time. She's just staring around the place, taking in all of the lights and music with this amazed grin on her face. Like she'd never seen something so wonderful. I imagine I had the exact same smile on my own face, looking at her.

She turns to me and smiles a little bit brighter, "Hey," she says giggling. Then she grabs my hand and looks back up at me, "I'm so glad you're here," she admits with a small smile.

I look down at our hands then back to her glowing face, "Where else would I be?"

She giggles again and lets my hand go to clap and scream as the song ends. Ashley turns to both of us, "I'm going to get a water or something, do you guys want anything?" We both shake our heads and she gives Selena a chaste kiss on the cheek before walking away.

Just then, _The Scientist_ starts and I hear Selena gasp. It's her all time favorite. The melody echoes around us, swimming through the room and invading our worlds. The piano is so haunting and the lyrics have never made so much sense than in this moment.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_  
_You don't know how lovely you are_

I glance at Selena who has stopped swaying and is just standing still, with her eyes closed.

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_

I feel her hand brush against mine.

_Tell me you love me_  
_Come back and haunt me_  
_Oh and I rush to the start_

Our fingers intertwine and I look up at her. Her eyes are still closed when a single tear slowly slides from under her eyelid. She doesn't brush it away and I don't either. We both just let it fall. I still feel a little bit like throwing up.

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one said it would be so hard_  
_I'm going back to the start_

She nearly falls into me, latching onto my body for dear life. I know she's crying. She isn't making any noise or anything, but I know. I always have.

"Selena-," I start and she shushes me before I even knew what I was going to say.

"Don't ruin it," she whispers into my ear. She hugs me until the song ends and then lets go, looking at me and smiling a smile that I can tell is completely fake. She looks like she wants to just burst into sobs right in the middle of the concert. I let her go though, I always do.

Ashley, of course, appears again. "Long ass line," she scoffs. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing important," Selena smiles at her and kisses her on the forehead. "Missed you a little bit though," she giggles before kissing her on the lips. Ashley grins at her and I'm back to feeling like throwing up. Literally this time. I can't take it. I can't take the way they're looking at each other or their stupid kisses and hand holding. Especially after whatever just happened with Selena and the weird crying and hugging. I have to get out of here.

"I'm gonna go," I blurt out.

They stop kissing to look at me, "What? They've still got like three songs left!" Ashley exclaims, "And you didn't drive."

I shake my head at her, "I'll take a cab. I'm just not feeling well," I look at Selena and she adverts her eyes to the floor. "Thanks for bringing me, talk to you later," I mumble before making my way out.

When I get outside I gasp for air. My lungs feel like they're falling apart or something, I can't catch my breath. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore.

I catch a cab, and the old man driving asks for my address. When I tell him, my voice cracks and he looks up at me in the rearview mirror, "Are you alright?" He asks with so much concern in his small voice.

I shake my head, "What are you supposed to do when the person you love is with someone else?"

He smiles a little as he pulls the cab into traffic, "You go get 'em kid. If it's meant to be, that is. Is it meant to be?"

Tears start to fall little by little, "I thought so. I let them go because I wasn't ready and they were. And now they've got someone new and I think she's happy-" I gasp at my slip up. I just said _she. _I basically just outed myself to this old man who is probably going to throw me on the street now.

"You think she's happier with this new person or with you?" He asks as if nothing happened.

"You- wait, you heard me, right? I just said she, it's a girl." I reply with confusion.

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, "I'm old, not deaf. Is this why she's with someone else? You have problems with the fact that she's a girl?"

"You don't care that I was with a girl?" I ask, completely ignoring his second question.

"Why would I care? If you love her, you love her." He smiles at me and I burst into tears immediately. I cry for his kindness, I cry for my stupidity, for my continuous problem of assuming the worst in people. "Miss, I'm sorry if I upset you," he says with concern. It just makes me cry more. I cry myself to sleep right there in the back of his cab.

When we get to my house he pokes my knee gently, "Miss, we're here."

I wake up in confusion before realizing where I am. After I pay and thank him I get out and start up my driveway.

"Miss?" He says in his kind voice as I turn back to him, "Don't let bad people in the world make you bitter. If you really love that girl, love her proud."

Then he's gone.

I go directly up to my room and get under the covers. My phone vibrates and I find that I have three texts from Selena. I must have gotten the others when I was sleeping in the cab.

**Are you home yet?**

**Demi**

**I'm sorry **

****The concert has to be over by now, I'm sure they aren't back yet though. They're probably holding hands on the drive back, rambling about how great it was and how glad they went together. It makes me want to throw my phone across the room against my wall. I don't know why I'm upset, I don't really have the right to be.

She wanted me and I turned away because I was scared. I can't blame her for wanting to be happy.

**I'm sorry too**

Then I turn my phone off and try to sleep. I wake up when I hear my window being rattled. "What the fuck?" I whisper to myself before getting up to see what was going on outside my window.

I hear grunting and look down to see someone climbing up to my room. "Little help, Dem," she grunts out. I take her hand and pull her into my room.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair, "What are you doing here, Selena?"


	9. Come to My Window

"This is it," she exhales slowly with her eyes firmly locked with mine, "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want this, Demi. And then I'll leave you alone."

"Selena," I sigh heavily and reach to touch her shoulder in attempt to comfort her.

She furiously shakes her head and smacks my hand away, "No! Don't feed me anymore bullshit. I've had enough of this! You can't just toy with me. You make me think we're okay one minute, and the next you're storming out of a concert to catch a cab. I don't even know what to think anymore." Her eyes are watering up and I feel like such an asshole right now.

I don't know how she manages to to do this to me.

"I just couldn't stand the way you were looking at each other, okay?" I let out softy, kind of embarrassed. My voice cracks and I hate it. I hate how small she makes me feel.

"I don't love her. I love you." She sighs again and looks away. "I don't know what else I have to do to show you that."

She moves to sit down on my bed, wiping her eyes. "What happened to us? I was sure about you, you know that? Like forever sure."

I take a seat next to her. "And now?" I ask her slowly, not daring to look at her. If I see her cry, I'll be a lost cause and we both know it.

"I'm not really sure about anything anymore,"

I shut my eyes tightly, desperately trying to will away the tears threatening to fall. I love her so much more than I even know what to do with, everything about her. I've never imagined a future without her. It's something I've always been sure of, without any hesitations or doubts. To hear her say she isn't sure breaks my heart so much I can barely take it.

"Selena," I begin shakily, "I'm horrible, okay? I've hurt you so many times and I made the worst decisions, and I shut you out. I don't have an excuse. I'm just stupid. I was afraid of being weak and of being vulnerable, because my heart was still broken, you know? I was still hurting so bad from everything that happened last year and I took my fears out on you. I didn't think I could take it, all of the attention and questions about us. I'm sorry." I cry out, sobs wracking my body.

"Shhh," she whispers, holding me close and running her hands through my hair. I pull back and wipe my eyes again, desperate to finish.

"After everything that's gone wrong for me, you're the only thing I've ever been sure about, okay?" She smiles at me like she's seeing me for the first time. "Really?" She asks with so much hope in her voice that I want to cry even harder just because I ever made her question it.

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Please," she breathes out and leans into me.

I gently push her hair behind her ear. Her cheeks are wet with tears as I run my thumbs across them. She just stares at me with this relief in her eyes that makes me smile apologetically at her when I run my thumb over her plump bottom lip before leaning in and capture it between my own. She sighs into my mouth and wraps her arms around my waist while mine gently grasp her face.

She pulls back and brings our foreheads together. "That feels so much better when it's with you," she smiles softly.

"Speaking of which, I guess I'll need to break up with Ash."

I nod and kiss her nose, "Sorry I drove you to that."

"No more apologies," she says and pecks my lips once more. "I probably need to go home though, it's like three." She giggles and stands up.

I grab her hand, "Stay," I whisper. She grins and sits on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

She kisses me softly, smiling into it the entire time. "Always."


	10. Walking On A Dream

I wake up to her sitting in my computer chair, looking at me. "Morning," I smile at her.

She smiles back softly, "Morning. We need to talk," she says slowly.

"About what?"

"Us," she says with a hint of fear in her voice, "Are we together? Officially? I need to know that you won't run again, and I need to know before I end things with Ashley,"

I get up from the mess of covers on my bed and make my way to her before sitting in her lap, wrapping my arms around her neck. Then I boldly lean in to press a small kiss to her lips. "I'm not running. I promise."

She smiles brightly, wrapping her hand around my wrist and soothingly rubbing back and forth. She leans back in and kisses my forehead. "Then I guess I have to go break up with her," she sighs sadly, getting up from the chair. She kisses my hair before putting on her jacket. "I'll be back later, I love you."

I grin so hard my face hurts. "I love you,"

* * *

"Demmmiiiii," I hear Selena call out later that night when I hear her come through my front door.

"In here, Sel,"

She flops down next to me on the couch, slinging her feet over my legs. "How'd it go?" I ask sadly, taking off her boots.

"She understood," she exhales slowly. "It was almost like she expected it, you know?"

"So you're back on the market?" I grin over at her.

She sighs, "Eh, I guess. Haven't found anyone I really like though,"

I throw her legs off me and crawl on top of her, "You're mine," I whisper just as I connect our lips. She slips her tongue into my mouth quickly.

"Selena's back!" Maddie yells out annoyingly as she walks into the living room and sits in a recliner. "Geez, I was just getting used to not seeing you guys make out in every room I walked in,"

"Yep," Selena giggles at Maddie as we sit back up on the couch. "I'm totally back,"

* * *

Everything has been going perfectly the past few weeks. Being with Selena again is so amazing. More amazing than I thought it would be. I thought people were going to hate us, make our lives miserable. I soon realized that everyone sort of already knew. It always seemed like everyone knew even before we did.

Today, Selena was going to the dentist, so I ended up sitting with a couple of guys from my English class at lunch. The last thing I expected was Ashley to come over to our table and sit beside me.

"Mind if I sit here?" she asked me sweetly.

I'd been avoiding her since the concert. I felt so guilty about Selena breaking up with her. I loved Ash, she was one of my best friends, and I thought she hated me now. I was so afraid of her hating me.

"Of course, Ash," I reply, a hint of surprise in my voice.

She sits down and just sort of stares at me for a little bit, then smiles at me. "You look happier now, Dem. Are you happy?"

"I never meant for you to get hurt, Ashley." I look at her with concern.

She shakes her head and looks away. "It sucked, I'm not gonna lie. Selena is amazing, you know that. I was happy with her. But we both know you're the one she belongs with. I wasn't supposed to be with her," she smiles at me.

"So you don't hate me?"

She smacks my hand playfully. "Oh please,"

I smile at her and we sit in silence for a while, eating our lunch in peace. I was honestly just happy to have my friend back. Everything was falling into place.

"She wanted you the whole time, you know I knew that, right?"

I rolled my eyes and took a drink of my water. "Yeah, I think everybody did."

* * *

_End._

Thank you guys so much for sticking with me and reading these two stories. It's the first thing I've ever written, and you all have given such wonderful and sweet reviews. I hope you enjoyed the happy ending, since the last story was a little sad!

I started a new story that should be up in a few days! It's Demi/Selena, and if you enjoyed this, you should enjoy it as well!

Please review and let me know what you thought of the story as a whole!

Love you guys xx


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